I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she peed on how many people?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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