just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
