all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
