im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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