just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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