rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she looked like the before picture.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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