I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
