I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
