Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
