I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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