At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
then he tried to convert me to islam
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Randomize
