he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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