garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
