Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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