pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
