So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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