Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
