OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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