Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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