maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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