I wanna bring you to show and tell
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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