you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Drake has all the answers
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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