airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just pee around me
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
