She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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