i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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