I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
