I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
