i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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