I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
