This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
