You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
