Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
