worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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