im drinking this country out of the recession.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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