CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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