Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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