he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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