I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
