I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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