well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
