If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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