So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
we should paint friendship bongs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
