And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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