she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
