well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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