Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
