too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
