i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
farters have to be the big spoon...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
