who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
