batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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